as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
