is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
