i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
