Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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