you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
