I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
