South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
