Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
