Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
