after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
