when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Even my vagina gasped.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
