3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I skipped work to stalk him.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
