so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
