Pappa wants mamma naked
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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