I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
