i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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