She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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