do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
