last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
