So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize