why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
