i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize