my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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