I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
