Welp...herpes.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
