There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
