he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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