I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
