you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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