Sponge bath it is.
accomplished twins. life is a go
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
