everyone is single if you try hard enough
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
