Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
