she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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