Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
