Me too!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The air was thick with penises
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
