My pussy is not your playground.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
