When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
