i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i out mim tonsoeep
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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