Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
