shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
