Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
