Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
