just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
