i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
