i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Randomize
