So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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