So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
