nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she woke up with a sticky ear
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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