my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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