I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
