I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
