You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
