He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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