Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize