And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
ttyl tear gas
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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