her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize