Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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