why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
