I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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