You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
