Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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