It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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