i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
