I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
