he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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