If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
