Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
