Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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