Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
