Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
