and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
