I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
