I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
