I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
