I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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