Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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