Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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