So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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