you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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