i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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