im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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