i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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