I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Send help, water and tortillas.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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